Foreword and Onward to Your Next Connection
The connections in your network are important to discover and invest in.
Build lasting connections
The moments that matter most in my life are the ones where I have connected and built lasting relationships with people. I revisit these connections in stories I tell to family, friends, sometimes in talks, and now even in books. Stories have connected us as a species since we started telling them via spoken and written language.
Sometimes connections happen in unexpected and surprising ways. The amazing wrote the Foreword for my book, “Eclipse Collections Categorically”. The Foreword, Acknowledgements, Introduction, and some of Chapter 1 are available in the online reading sample at the Amazon link. In the Foreword, I was surprised to learn about the day that José discovered that I existed. I remember vividly the day when I had met José in person at JavaOne 2015, but did not know until reading his Foreword, that he had seen me speak a year earlier at JavaOne 2014. Read the Foreword above to learn the connection story of myself and José. Thank you, José!
If you read the story that José has written in the foreword, you will learn something about networking that only happens when you do something. I may not be able to help you find the motivation and courage to do something, but what I can tell you is that amazing stories are much less likely to happen in your life until you start socializing your interests and connecting with others.
In the rest of this blog, I will show through personal examples how building connections can happen by telling stories and going to conferences and meetups and working up the courage to talk to developers and speakers.
Where can you build lasting connections?
Go to user group meetups and conferences. Build up 15 seconds of courage, and introduce yourself to folks who have left a positive impression with you. If you’re like me, that first introduction may be awkward. Some folks may seem intimidating at first, but we’re all just human beings like you doing our best to prioritize our time and build lasting connections while we can. Unfortunately, nobody can prioritize their time for everyone, so sometimes the connection won’t last beyond that first introduction. That is ok.
Pro tip. Once a connection is established, make sure you revisit it now and again. Say “hello” and share an update in social platforms where you are connected. Your connections will not always maintain themselves.
Make your next connection at a conference
I’ve known of Venkat Subramaniam since 2010, when I first spoke at GIDS (Great International Developer Summit) in Bengaluru. I was too shy to introduce myself then. I actually met Venkat in person at the JVM Language Summit in 2011 and had a longer conversation with him. A year later, at GIDS in 2012, I had the amazing fortune of having Venkat attend my talk titled “Java Collections Reloaded”. I know Venkat attended my talk because he asked me two questions at the end of my talk, which at the time earned him two, one-of-a-kind USB thumb drives with Goldman Sachs design that I offered to folks who asked questions. I can’t remember the questions Venkat asked, but I do recall that Venkat told me and the audience that I did not stipulate that they had to be good questions. Well done and thank you, Venkat!
The connection at GIDS 2012 will be a lasting memory for me. In addition to the USB drive I still have (pictured above), I have a picture of poster that connects myself, GIDS, Venkat and my first GS Collections talk together all at once. It would seem unbelievable if I hadn’t taken a picture at the time.
This connection and picture would never have happened if I didn’t submit a talk, get it accepted, and then attend GIDS in 2012. I had to do something, and I did not know what would happen at the conference. I had hoped I would raise awareness of GS Collections. Everything beyond that was a bonus.
There are tens of Java conferences held every year, so go!
There are hundreds, maybe thousands of connections I have made at user group meetups and conferences since I gave the talk named in the picture above at GIDS in 2012. As descrived in the Foreword above, I would meet José Paumard for the first time at JavaOne 2015. If you read the Foreword, you will learn about how we first became connected, and met a year later. I did not know I had made a connection with José the year before at the JavaOne 2014 Strategy Keynote. When you put yourself out there publicly in talks, keynotes, blogs, podcasts, you quietly make connections you may never learn about. Below is a picture of the talk details outside of the room where I would first meet José after his talk. He has probably never seen this picture before (at least from me). Thank you and you’re welcome, José!
In a few months, I will be at the dev2Next conference with presenting “Refactoring to Eclipse Collections: Making Your Java Streams Leaner, Meaner, and Cleaner.” Do you know the only thing that might be missing? Of course it’s you.
The dev2Next conference is a great U.S. conference held in Colorado Springs. There is a great set of speakers, and if meeting Venkat Subramaniam is on your professional network bucket list, then this is a great conference to go to. He organizes the conference so will be there the entire week.
Don’t stifle your connection opportunities watching replay videos.
It saddens me when folks skip out of meetups saying that they will watch the recorded video again. The recording of any talk is not nearly as interesting as the potential for the talk to answer a specific question you might have, or an insight you might share in a conversation with the speaker or other developers. I just attended InfoQ Dev Summit in Boston this week. I went to see my friend Vlad give a talk on Data Frames in Java. I knew a few of the speakers at the conference, so figured it would be a good way to freshen up some of my connections that I mostly see at conferences. This was an opportunity for a few “hellos” and to meet a couple of folks I know through social media in person for the first time. I also enjoy seeing Vlad give talks, and have enjoyed delivering a few slides from Vlad’s talk at both dev2Next 2024 and JavaOne 2025. It’s rare you get to see a talk these days with a donut diagram about donuts. “Donuts… Is there anything they can’t do?” -Homer Simpson
Overcoming the fear of greetings
I find initial greetings awkward. You never know what is going to happen after that first awkward hello. Practice helps. I am challenged with remembering names the first time I meet someone. It usually takes hearing and saying the person’s name and connecting with them in person few times. So if I really want to make a point to remember someone’s name, I may have to say hello to that person with their name a few times so it sticks. I like to believe I’m not the only person on this planet who faces this challenge. It may make me feel or look like an idiot sometimes, but I just get over it and get on with it. Nobody cares as long as you are trying.
I’ve had many people over the years introduce themselves to me at conferences. They will sometimes know me through social media posts, blogs, previous talks, or through friends of theirs who tell them about me. I usually get minimal written feedback online when I write a blog or post social media, so find it surprising when someone knows me through an online platform. That first in person greeting usually leads to follow up connections happening in online platforms. It is more awkward sometimes to connect with someone online before meeting them in person. Pro tip: I ignore most connection requests on LinkedIn if I have not met the person virtually or in person, unless we have a large number of shared connections, then I will see what the person posts about. You are more likely to increase your online connections if you make in person connections first. I made a connection I hadn’t expected with a person I met for the first time at InfoQ Dev Summit this week. He took the initiative to take a selfie with me, and then share it on LinkedIn and tagged me so I would see it. This is a great example of creating that initial connection and following through. Thank you, Jagadeesh!
Do something, connect, say something
I saw a fellow Java Champion at a talk we both attended at InfoQ Dev Summit this week. I walked up to introduce myself and say hello after the talk. We hadn’t met in person before but we have been connected through social media for a while. We both recognized that it was our first time meeting in person, and she took out her camera, took a selfie and posted it along with other selfies and pictures she shared in a conference update. This simple practice is so important in building and maintaining connections in your professional network. Thank you, Loiane!
This is something I have learned from other Java Champions and conference speakers over the years. You can increase your impact and connections well beyond your talk if you take the time to post about your conference experience immediately after (or during) the conference.
I know a lot of conference speakers and attendees that do this, and an even greater number of people who do not. I get it. Posting on social media is not for everyone. I am terrified each time I post that I am going to say something dumb or annoying. I just close my eyes and do it, and then ask for feedback after. At first, I would ask for feedback before, but that can be challenging and awkward as well.
All I can tell you is that connections become persistent if you make an effort and share. You may leave a memory that can jog others memories, including your own. This can be helpful later in so many ways.
Your mission, if you choose to accept it
One of the biggest mistakes I continually see developers make is not attending free local meetups in person. I don’t understand this at all. Developers are not saving time by believing they can watch the video later. Sure, they can watch the talk on fast forward on YouTube, or not watch it at all. Watching a recorded video is less likely to impact someone’s career in any meaningful way than making an in person connection will.
Make the connections!
I gave a talk at a virtual Pittsburgh Java User Group meetup recently. Only one person that I didn’t know attended. We had a great conversation after the talk which was also part of the recording at the end. I’ve since had direct conversations on social media with the developer who attended the talk. Another connection established ✅. So if you think attending talks is a waste of time because not a lot of folks attend, you are missing something very important.
I also occasionally attend the Garden State Java User Group and New York Java SIG meetups. Who knows, if you attend a meetup at either of these, you may actually spot me in the audience, or maybe in a Java Champion panel or something. Don’t be shy if you see me there. Say hello!
Finally, a recommendation
If you are looking for a good developer conference recommendation in the U.S. where you can make some new connections and maybe refresh some old ones, I highly recommend attending dev2Next, which is run by Venkat Subramaniam. Disclaimer: I am speaking there again this year. I am speaking at the conference a second time, because I had such a great experience the first time! Colorado is beautiful. The weather was very pleasant last year. You do have to be mindful of the elevation and dry air, so stay hydrated and be mindful of how you are feeling. Last year, I met up with some of my favorite speakers including the amazing Venkat.
Thank you for reading, and I hope you find some time in your busy schedule to attend meetups and conferences to increase your connections.
I am the creator of and committer for the Eclipse Collections OSS project, which is managed at the Eclipse Foundation. Eclipse Collections is open for contributions. I am also the author of the book, Eclipse Collections Categorically: Level up your programming game.
